No One Dates 007's Baby Brother
by therunawaypen
Summary: James finds out that 006 may be putting the moves on Q. While the older brother in him abhors the idea, Q doesn't seem worried. The fact he enjoys the attention has nothing to do with it.


"Why did 006 spend over an hour in your office with you last night?"

Q looked up from his computer to see James shutting his office door behind him. James was frowning, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the Quartermaster.

"I would assume Alec needed to return his equipment to me, like all of you _should_ do after an assignment." Q gave James an even look.

James quirked an eyebrow, "_Alec_? How long has he been _Alec?" _His footsteps were quick as he made his way across the office.

"I'd imagine all his life, James." Q shook his head, "And I thought you liked him, isn't he your best friend?"

James was at Q's desk now, staring down at him, "He might be, but that doesn't explain why it took him over an hour to return his equipment."

There really was no distracting James, Q noted. Granted, there never had been distracting James from his goal, even when they were children, "Well… If you _must _know—"

"I do."

Q rolled his eyes, "He may have bent me over the desk you're currently leaning on and had me six ways to Sunday."

James recoiled at the mental image, "You _didn't_!" His nose was wrinkled in disgust.

"Of course we didn't." Q shook his head, "Come on James, you know me better than that. Even if I _had_ an office kink or even an exhibition kink, which you _know _I don't have, I'm far too professional to actually do something like that on the job."

James didn't say anything, but Q knew that he was right. There were just some instances when James lost his ability to think logically, and usually those situations involved Q. "Honestly James, Alec just asked me to dinner."

"He _what?"_ James looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel, "You said _no_ of course."

The way James had tried to make the supposed question seem like a definitive statement was amusing. At least to Q, "I said _yes_, James. I'm not an idiot."

James was pacing in front of Q's desk, "No, absolutely not, I won't allow it."

"You won't allow me to go on a date with your best friend?" Q raised an eyebrow, "Care to explain why?"

The 00 agent stopped, looking at Q, "He's a complete womanizer. He sleeps with a different woman every assignment. He's probably never had a serious relationship in his life." He shook his head, "What made you think that accepting his offer to dinner was a good idea?"

"He reminded me of my big brother."

James froze, giving Q the chance to continue, "I _know _he sleeps around on missions, that's what you 00 agents _do_ James. Hell, I've had to _watch_ some of you at times. But honestly, I'm not about to let myself be a conquest for 006." Q chuckled, "Besides, this will help dispel the rumors that you and I are a couple."

A small chuckle escaped the older Bond as he shook his head. When James had first joined MI6, he and Q had agreed to pretend that James had no family. They had buried all their family records. Though Q did enjoy the look of surprise on James's face when Q revealed he too had joined MI6, as the Quartermaster.

But keeping the family secret while keeping the family closeness was tricky. Too often, people assumed they were a couple, or flirting, to Q's annoyance. Well, at least it hadn't stopped 006.

"I'm going on this date, James" Q smiled softly, shutting off his computer, "In fact, we have reservations for 8 o'clock at _Balthazar's_."

James raised his eyebrow, "That's a pretty serious place for dinner."

Q smirked, "Give me some credit, James. I'm not a cheap date. And Alec knew that too, he's the one who suggested it." He stood up, "I'm quite looking forward to a quiet meal and conversation."

"_Just_ a meal and conversation?" James crosses his arms again.

"Of course, James, he's staying out of my bedroom." Q grabbed his jacket, "At least until the third date at least. It'll depend how frisky I'm feeling."

"Q!"

Q chuckled. Sometimes James was just too fun to wind up, "Just so you know James, you have a reservation too. It's in a corner of the restaurant, but you should have a good view of Alec and me." He smiled, "Will that satisfy you enough to keep from constantly calling me?"

There was a moment when James simply glared at Q. Then, reluctantly, he nodded, "I suppose I'm due for a good meal as well…"

"Hardly, I've seen what you 00 agents eat when you're on assignment." Q chuckled, making his way out of the office, "I'll see you tonight. Or better yet, I better not see you tonight."

James frowned, but let his little brother leave without a word. Just because Q had a date did not mean he had to like it.


End file.
